Do you ever get drunk and start texting? Well, I don't, I feel limited by the exact number of digits I have to work with. I want to slur my words in text form as well, This is the precise reason why I am so incredibly greatful for my new Blackberry that work bought for me. Not only can I maniacally respond to work emails, but I can also drunk email people I have no desire in actually ever fucking (sometimes) and then sometimes I get drunk and email people I shouldn't ever want to fuck again.
So, the best part is when I forget what their server is: gmail, hotmail (1998), aol (1994), tntmax (wtf) or my personal favorite, when I think I work with them through force of habit due to my frantic emails all day. SSSSOOOOOO
I spoke to my physically and emotionally distant ex-boyfriend and the conversation went well, do we want to see each other, maybe. Can he afford it? NO. Do I want to deal with it, not so much.
and this is what I sent him, mind you the best part is coming.
"I am out with a friend, the same one that caught me masturbating on the phone.
I am drinking and drunk and thought of how horny I am and how much I want to fuck you and feel your huge dick inside my body.
I want to feel your huge throbbing dick inside my mouth and cannot wait to see you.
Good night.
--Alejandra"
three things of notable mention:
1. We had phone sex early and I had to hang up because my friend picked me up (I WASN'T REDTUBING)
2. WTF am I doing? Apparently all my wells in echo park have run dry and I am drunk emailing a dude in NY that I don't even talk to all that often.
3. I emailed him with a cornersto**extension and called the IT DEPARTMENT FRANTICALLY ASKING "OMFG I AM DRUNK WHO GETS THESE EMAILS? DO THEY BOUNCE BACK?"
Not only do I feel like a fucking idiot for emailing but I called our IT dept wasted, asking them to not open this email. Which means they all read it, printed it out, and I should be awaiting my severance check.
No comments:
Post a Comment