FUNNY? NOT FUNNY!

Sometimes when I want attention I do stand up comedy at a coffee shop... Its really cool cause I will get my tea for free and people will be forced to pay attention to me. That is very important to me because usually people only look at me because I am staring at them in a way so uncomfortable that nature makes the hair on the back of their neck stand up. I cant help it i like to lurk! I really want a Passat wagon too!! You know like one from Germany with the steering wheel on the other side so I can be the first class bitch when i park my car. Being number one male bitch behind the wheel is very important to me. I think its because when I was a kid I would watch cannon ball run and speed zone over and over again. I think because i had a craving for fast cars that i really liked to watch car movies.


I also took my parents to see days of thunder! Man that Tom Cruise was a douche bag even to my 10 year old eyes. That guy was cool and i wanted to see Jurassic Park or oh it was navy seals starring Charlie Sheen who is really the budget Tom Criuse of his day. Oh also guys who wear girls sweaters are really annoying and if you are reading this and on Wednesday night you were standing outside wearing a pink sweater with a stars and hearts on it you should feel like a douche. This is coming from a guy who is wearing underwear with pictures of license plates on them and who owns a raiders construction hard hat. In short you and your ironic facial hair totally suck!!!